Discussion: The Ethics of the Family

Discussion: The Ethics of the Family

Discussion: The Ethics of the Family

Edited by

Stephen Scales, Adam Potthast and Linda Oravecz

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WHAT Is A FAMILY?

While the word “family” is recognizable to everyone, paradoxically, it can be difficult to come to a consensus on its definition for many reasons, Individuals tend to define family based on what they are familiar with. Experiences in our families of origin, the families we are born into, or families of procreation, those we form through marriage and the birth of children, color how we view what a family should be. For example, an only child raised by a grandparent is more likely to consider such a family structure as “normal” than someone from a more traditional, two-parent family.

Additionally, there are social and cultural biases concerning what a family is. In the United States, the cultural icon of family is that of the two parent household, male as breadwinner, female as homemaker and caregiver, and the preferred number of children, which is two. I While this family structure actually makes up less than 7% 20f families in the US, it is viewed as the cultural norm, and therefore a bias exists for the families falling outside of this “norm”.

The meaning of family has varied over time and among groups. Cultures place different importance on a variety of family structures. Polygamy is commonly practiced in many Asian, Arabic and African nations. Asians are more likely than Anglo-Americans to live with their extended families3 Similarly, Latino infants and children are more likely than their Anglo counterparts to have active contact with mUltiple extended family members’

Family is also a political symbol, with both sides of the aisle claiming “pro-family” policies, in effect implying that the other party does not promote “family values”. Conservatives favor policies that promote marriage among heterosexuals and discourage single parent families. Conversely, liberals are more likely to include gay and single parent

I Townsend, J. (2003). Reproductive behavior in the context of global population. American Psychologist, 58. 179-204. 2 United States Census Bureau (2002). Current Population Survey. Retrieved February 8, 2009 from http://www.census.gov!cps! 3 Knox, D., & Schacht, C. (2008). Choices in Relationships: An introduction to marriage ami the family. (9th Edition). CA: Wadsworth Publishing. 4 Garcia, C. ( 1 993). What do we mean by extended family? A closer look at multi generational Hispanic families. Journal of Cross-Cultural Gerontology, 8, 137-146.

Introduction 3

families, although even the current presidential administration is loathe to define marriage as anything other than that between a man and a woman.

There are several different bases of definitions for “family”. One of the most common is the biological ties we have to another. We often refer to someone as a “blood” relative, and research suggests that in times of crisis, we are more likely to seek and receive assistance from biological family. 5 Other family members may be defined by their legal ties, i.e.: through marriage or adoption. According to this definition, a man and a woman are not family until they have a marriage license, and adoptive parents and child are not legally family until a judge finalizes the process.

Other bases by which family may be defined, but are much less recognized by those who are the gatekeepers of rights and responsibilities granted to family members, are emotional and affective, or how we feel about someone. For example, in African American and Hispanic communities, fictive kin, or non-relatives who are regarded as family members, often enjoy ties as strong or stronger than those established by blood or marriage.6 Emotionally, we feel they are family, so therefore, they are. Interaction patterns may also determine who is considered family, or “we do things for one another that only a family member would do”.

While discussing the definition of family, it is important to contrast it with that of marriage. Marriage involves two individuals who usually choose one another, a monogamous sexual relation between spouses is expected, as is procreation. The marriage ends when one spouse dies or there is a divorce. On the other hand, family, according to some definitions, usually involves more than two people, and is the consequence of procreation. As any newlywed couple can attest, one of the questions that they will be asked repeatedly is “when are you going to start a family?”, implying that a married couple in and of itself is not yet quite a family. Members are born or adopted into the family, by no choice of their own (as many an angry child will remind their parents), and the family continues beyond the life of the individual. Sex between near kin is neither expected nor approved.

Lastly, family is often defined on the basis of household arrangement. This classification has an Anglo bias, literally defining family by who IS

5 Burnstein, E., Crandall, c., & Kitayama, S. ( 1994). Some neo-Darwinian decision lUles for altruism: Weighing cues for inclusive fitness as a function of the biological importance of the decision. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 773-779. 6 Dilworth-Anderson, P., Burton, W .. , & Turner, W. (1993). The importance of values in the study of culturally diverse families. Family Relations, 42, 238-42.

Discussion: The Ethics of the Family

4 Chapter One

living under one roof. It is important to note that The U.S. Census Bureau defines family as: two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. Such a definition clearly excludes many who consider themselves to be family, and today we find many groups fighting to have their relationships recognized as such.

Definitions of family have important consequences for individuals, often determining which rights and obligations of family members are recognized. These definitions have both economic and social consequences. Economic benefits and assets are only available to those legally defined as family by the provider, i.e.: social security benefits or the ability to be on another’s health insurance policies. If a family member dies intestate, the assets of that person will usually be distributed among legal or biological relatives, such as spouses or children. Social implications of family definition include the ability to make decisions for another, for example whether to continue life suppOli measures. Additionally, how we define family as a society affects the ability of a child to believe that their family, regardless of form, is “normal”.

Federal and State definitions of marriage and family have a critical impact on policies affecting families. According to the 2000 Census, there are 594,000 same sex partner households, with children living in 27 percent of those households. Most of these families are unable to have married heads of household. The Defense of Marriage Act of 1996 defined marriage under federal law as exclusively heterosexual, while declaring that states are not required to recognize same sex marriages performed in other states.

At this writing, only the states of Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa recognize same sex marriage, while Vermont, New Jersey and New Hampshire offer legal unions which allow the same state (but not federal) rights and responsibilities of marriage to same sex couples. By not allowing same sex couples to marry, individuals are unable to: access partners Medicare or Social Security; file joint taxes; obtain death benefits when a partner dies; obtain health/retirement benefits; sponsor partner for immigration to the US; and divorce. Additionally, same sex partners are at risk of losing access to their children if only one partner has legal rights to the child and the couple separates.

One can imagine the challenge of defining family will only grow more complex as family structures continue to change and birth technologies progress. For example, in 2008, a transgendered male gave birth to a child, allowing the possibility for him to be the child’s mother, father, or even

Introduction 5

both.’ Reproductive technologies allow children to have multiple parents, often blurring the lines of “family” members, while gay people continue to fight for the right to both marry and adopt children. As these and other changes occur in the American family, it will become increasingly important to define what a family is.

7 Reuters. (2008). Transgender man reportedly gives hirth. http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0326774720080704

AN INTRODUCTION TO ETHICS: SOME BASIC CONCEPTS