Lecture Notes: Module 2

(For Exam 2)

Table of Contents

HS 201: Sexuality: A Biblical Perspective

Tommy Nelson, M.A.

HS 202: The Spirit of the Act: “Having Sex” or “Making Love”?

Chris McCluskey, M.S.W.

Course Description

Sexuality is God’s idea – not man’s. When God created man and woman, He created sexual beings, and He declared it “very good.” In the Bible, the Song of Solomon is a book of romance. It was God’s plan that sex should be enjoyed within the confines of marriage and with healthy attitudes. Learn why sex is good and why it is a gift from God.

Learning Objectives: By the end of this lesson, students:

1. Will understand how to interpret the Song of Solomon and God’s teaching on love and romance.

2. Will understand how to have an exciting, healthy, romantic sexual relationship with your spouse.

3. Will understand God’s plan for a person’s love life from the first attraction to the opposite sex through the end of the days in marriage.

Introduction

Love, sex and romance cause both the greatest delight and the greatest pain in life. People are created in God’s image to be intimately personal and relational. God does not give people the potential for close personal relationships without telling them how to avoid pain in these relationships. In the middle of the Bible, God gives a wisdom book—the Song of Solomon—that teaches people how to experience a healthy love, sex and romantic relationship within the covenant of marriage.

I. Part One: The Art of Attraction

A. The Man – Character is More Important than Physical Looks

B. The Woman – Responsibility and Submissive Spirit Greater than Appearance

C. The Application – Searching Out the Right Mate

Physical looks are recognized, but they are relegated below the spiritual qualities.

II. Part Two: The Dating Scenario

A. The Honor and Respect of Love

B. The Desire of Sexual Attraction

C. The Proper Time to Awaken the Gift of Sex

D. The Application for Dating

III. Part Three: The Courtship (Commitment)

A. Intense Sexual Attraction (The Stag and Gazelle Hyperbole)

B. Mutual Commitment to Trust (The Picture of the Dove)

C. Mutual Commitment to Avoiding Premarital Sex (Destroying the Foxes)

D. The Application: Security, Desire and Passion Grows as a Result of Purity

IV. Part Four: The Wedding and Honeymoon

A. Man Taught to be Gentle

B. All Senses are a Part of the Sexual Experience

C. Woman’s Virginity is Saved for her Husband

D. God Sanctions the Enjoyment of Sex

E. The Application

V. Part Five: The Conflict in Marriage

A. The Selfish Response Causes Conflict

B. The Application: How to Deal with Conflict in Marriage:

· Don’t return evil for evil – respond to evil with good

· Don’t try to chasten your mate – respond with love and kindness

· Focus on resolution – seek forgiveness and solution

· Talk together – express oneself in soft language and respond attentively

· Forgive each other – reemphasize love

· Reconciliation – don’t hold an account for wrongs suffered; restore one’s mate to a place of honor

· End the conflict closer to God and each other than they were before

VI. Part Six: Keeping Romance in Marriage

A. Husband Compliments His Wife (Provides Her with Romance)

B. Woman Responds to Man and Satisfies Him (Provides Him with Exciting Sex)

· Creative

· Aggressive

· Spontaneous

VII. Part Seven: Keeping Fidelity in Marriage

A. Providential Relationship – She was born for him.

B. Possessive Relationship – “I want you and none other.”

C. Permanent Relationship – Never Breaking the Covenant

D. Persevering Relationship – Giving up Oneself to Save It

E. Precious Relationship – Requires Walking with God

F. The Conclusion: Book Ends with the Principle of Giving

Bibliography/Reading List

Hudson Productions: 7160 North Dallas Parkway, Plano, TX 75024; 1-800-729-0815

Song of Solomon Audio Series

Song of Solomon CD Series

Song of Solomon VHS or DVD Video Series

www.songofsolomon.com

Nelson, Tommy. The Book of Romance. (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1998).

Nelson, Tommy. The Big Picture. (Plano, TX: Hudson Productions, 1999).

Nelson, Tommy. The Problem of Life with God. (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman, 2002).

HS 201 Study Questions

1. What is the primary theme of the Song of Solomon? How is it divided and how is it meant to be interpreted?

2. What applications can singles learn from the first few chapters of the Song of Solomon about dating and sexual attraction?

3. According to the “honeymoon part” of Song of Solomon, how did God intend for sex to be used in marriage?

4. What do people learn about how to deal with conflict in marriage from the couple in Song of Solomon? How did they deal with their conflict, and what was the end result of their conflict?

5. How did the couple in Song of Solomon view their marriage? What were the keys to their lasting fidelity in their relationship?

Soul Care Notes

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Song of Solomon 1:2-4

Song of Solomon 7:6-12

Malachi 2:13-16

John 2:2

Ephesians 5:21-26

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

HS 202

THE SPIRIT OF THE ACT: “HAVING SEX” OR “MAKING LOVE”?

Chris McCluskey, MSW

Course Description

When it comes to sexual intimacy there is a world of difference between “having sex” and “making love.” This lesson presents a very practical model to help couples connect deeply and establish patterns that will enhance their intimacy and fulfillment throughout their years together. It weaves together the various threads of love that need to be integrated into a tapestry of a flourishing, life-long marriage. The fruit of making that commitment is often the best sex and deepest love that one can have in a marriage.

Learning Objectives: By the end of this lesson, students:

1. Will understand the process of “making love” versus “having sex.”

2. Will be able to identify difficulties and solutions in the love-making experience.

3. Will understand how to enjoy a fulfilling, life-long sexual relationship with their spouses.

Introduction

This course introduces the love-making model which Dr. McCluskey developed to determine whether a couple is experiencing the act of sex as God intended it. When Christ came to earth, He emphasized the importance of the spirit of our acts rather than the acts of behavior themselves. Couples who learn how to enjoy the spirit of the act of making love, have a unique “super-glue” that holds their marriage together and glorifies God through their oneness.

I. Making love as a means of communication

A. Communication Occurs Between

· Husband and wife

· The couple and God

B. The Definition of “Intercourse”: To Have an Exchange or Communing between

Persons